Posts Tagged ‘values’
Blessings, Grace and Thanksgiving
When we receive blessings for no apparent reason, this is grace. When we give of ourselves for no apparent reason, this too is grace. When we offer kindness and understanding instead of digging in and bitterly proving our way, we invite those blessings that one day we will so desperately need. When we practice “random acts of kindness” or love those who we find it difficult to love, grace finds us.
So on Thanksgiving Day, we are reminded that so much has been given to us–our blessings. So much, as well, has been given to us just because of where we were born. When you think of it, our prosperity was built upon generations of hard work and, sometimes, on the backs of others. But we sometime forget something that prosperity is not what we own, bequeathed or earned. Prosperity is what we give away. We are prosperous when we make more room, say in our wallet, our house and our heart, and give. When we do, we always find that something greater fills that void.
Happy Thanksgiving
Posted on Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 | No Comments »
Truth and Hope
What is truth? This question over the ages has been mired with such complexities. Why? I can’t really say. I prefer to strip away the layers to find the essence of most things–that’s just me. I prefer to define truth with four simple words:
is, or is not. This is truth.
Truth is neutral. It’s neither good nor bad–it just is. And wishing or wanting changes nothing. But then again…
Many time we wish we could change the truth. We fanaticize, we dream and, well, we should do those things. After all, what is true today could inspire change. This is hope. Hope should always follow the truth or what is true today will always be a matter of fact.
Hope inspires our actions to change what is true in our present moment. We want to cure a disease, we want peace, we want good to prevail. Yes, we have cured some diseases, we have witnessed some peace, and most would agree that good should always trump evil. But today, the truth of the matter is that diseases are replaced with new strains, there is a segment of people who are evil, and we witness what is truly bad choking was it truly good. In the midst of truth, we must have hope.
Without hope, truth will always be what is, is.
Posted on Sunday, October 18th, 2009 | No Comments »
“Just begin–one, one, one.”
My Mom taught me compassion. I’m sure yours did too. It wasn’t just what she said, but it was what she did. In her small way she responded to the pain of others and understood their disappointments. She saw disappointments and struggles growing up during the Great Depression. She saw hardships and knew that, for the most part, everyone tried their best–then and now, but that we all don’t come from the same place and we all don’t have the same opportunities. We just don’t. Some of us get a head start. I know I did.
Mom showed me in real ways her empathy and compassion for people she didn’t know. She helped Native Americans as they suffered at the hands of injustice. Mom hasn’t a drop of American Indian blood in her, be she felt the bloodstream of their lives drain from what was rightfully their legacy. She opened her heart to attempt to feel an ounce of their pain. As she did, so did I.
If we can step away from that arrogant layer of ego we all have, and judge no one, we may begin to feel the pain and the joy of someone else. We may choose to help instead of fortifying the barricades that we hide behind as we blame others for all our ills. We all need a little help from time to time–you’ve needed some help.
When asked about compassion, Mother Teresa said, “…I can only love one person at a time–just one, one, one. So you begin. I begin–I pick up one person. Maybe if I didn’t pick up that one person, I wouldn’t have picked up forty-two thousand… . The same thing in your church, your community. Just begin–one, one, one.”
The Dalai Lama brings it home in a real personal way when he says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
Posted on Sunday, October 11th, 2009 | No Comments »
Saying Little Says A Lot
Once said, it’s difficult taking back.I fail, but I remind myself that it is a virtue to say little. But there are times in which it is appropriate to speak. Those are the times we need to express gentle words that are sincere and from the heart. Of course, we should be truthful but that does not exclude being truthful with kindness. It is when we allow our ego to consume us and ultimately speak for us, we run into trouble.
Perhaps, instead of ego, our words are propelled by ignorance or without thinking. Regardless of its origin, if we learn from our ways and offer an apology, we may humbly step back onto the right path and we may continue our journey.
Posted on Saturday, October 10th, 2009 | No Comments »
To Be Human is to Be Spiritual
Yesterday in Parade Magazine, there was a report of a lengthy survey on religion and spirituality written by Christine Wicker. The long and short of the article is that we, as a nation, are considering ourselves as more spiritual than ever before. I go a step further, although I don’t have statistics to prove it. That is, we have always been spiritual. That’s why I started to write my book Zen Master Next Door nearly five years ago.In our huge world, we are all connected. Everything and everybody’s actions impact everyone else. Just think about it. We cannot survive without others, or without what grows on the earth, or the water that refreshes us, or the warmth of the sun–or a fire. If we made more time to listen to others, no matter who they are, and listen to ourselves, we might learn something. If we made time to see how this world works and how it is aligned with our Creator, we might make better decisions. Religion is good, but spirituality takes us further.
The short stories in Zen Master Next Door are about you and me in our everyday life trying to make the best decisions we know how. Slowing our pace, putting the blackberry down and listening to what a child has to say, could really be enlightening. Just think if we could see God in different ways–hearing Him in voices of those we meet and in the breeze wafting through the boughs of a tree.
But, today, the frenetic pace we seem to have accepted creates our largest barrier in our spiritual life. Our material “needs” are a giant step backward in our quest to learn about ourselves, our fellow man and our God.
To be human is to be spiritual, and I’m joyful more of us are recognizing what we already possess.
Check out Zen Master Next Door at http://www.edwardgkardos.com/
Posted on Monday, October 5th, 2009 | No Comments »
The “New” Fifty
You’ve heard people say that fifty is the new forty. Wrong. Fifty is the new fifty.
I celebrated my fiftieth birthday in August and nothing happened. Nothing at all. I was the same guy the day before as I was on my birthday, and finding out that things are going well six weeks later. I got to thinking about it, and it dawned on me that I felt, and still feel, the same as I did twenty years earlier — so is fifty, for me, the new thirty? Not really. As a matter of fact I feel and think “better” than I did way back when. Heck, I was too skinny and my nose looked even bigger then.
One thing is now very different for me. It is very liberating to say that I’m fifty. What gives me this sense of freedom? I’ve been around the block, as they say, but feel pretty relevant. I’m healthy and in good shape. I’m physically and mentally more active today then I was a few years back. I think I am beginning to understand that with my gray hair, I’m getting something that is known as “wisdom”. I’m not a soothsayer, but when I think about it, I’m a lot smarter–and kinder. We don’t use the word “wisdom” very much anymore, but I think I’m getting it and look forward to being the recipient of more.
I’ve experienced some wonderful goings-on in my life–some really beautiful happening. Events and activities I will honor and cherish forever. On the flip side, I’ve been humiliated and degraded by some, but haven’t we all? The wisdom comes when you can sort it all out, make sense of it, and see yourself for what you truly are. Taking time to put it all in perspective and being committed to what you think is most important is a step to wisdom. I’m looking forward to seeing where I’m headed with all this.
When you can look inside and you like what you see, that is all part of the journey.
Hey, I think fifty is the NEW fifty.
Posted on Sunday, October 4th, 2009 | No Comments »
Obviously!
Some folks grow impatient when others state the obvious. They shouldn’t– really.I’m an obvious talker, therefore, when I hark back to a simpler approach or say something they very well should know or comprehend, but have, or chosen to overlook, I see in their eyes a glaze of irritation.
But I know something, and they know it too. That is, if they take a moment to think, they would realize that the obvious is frequently overlooked for some grander way. It’s like air. We don’t give it a second thought until we gasp for it when we have little warning of losing it.
Paraphrasing a Zen parable I read in Wayne Dyer’s latest book, Excuses Begone!, a wise monk called Birdnest, because of his fondness of meditating in trees, was visited by a governor of the province. He wearily traveled three days to ask his burning question. When the governor approached the monk, perched in a tree, he called up and asked, “Can you tell me the most important thing the Buddha ever said?” After a deliberate pause, the monk answered, “Don’t do bad things; always do good things!” The governor was agitated and angrily responded, ” I knew that when I was three years old!”
Birdnest concluded by saying “Yes, the three year old knows it, but the eighty-year-old still finds it very difficult to do!”
Posted on Saturday, July 18th, 2009 | No Comments »
Offering a Hand
I was with my wife, Kristin, and my twin eight year old girls today at the county dump. Well, you can get free mulch there–can you blame me? Four kids on my salary? Anyway, we loaded several huge unwieldy plastic barrels of free, but high quality mulch, and I had to somehow get my arms around each and lift them three feet up and into our mini-van. So I squatted using my legs, not my back, to lift each barrel. As my arms reached around the first barrel there was nothing to cling to. In my head I was searching for an answer on how to do this or maybe even a miracle– well, maybe not a miracle but maybe an adrenalin rush like I never experienced before.
Just then, I heard a voice next to me. “Need some help?” These barrels were heavy, I mean h-e-a-v-y. Simple words, I thought, for a not so simple task.
I turned and saw a man about my age– but I’m bad with ages– and said, “Sure, if you don’t mind.” I had done this thing before but thought this was not the time to be so proud.
We all need some help sometime.
This stranger helped me lift, with ease, all the barrels. It was that simple. When done, we simultaneously stuck out our hands and we introduced ourselves. Oh, I then said, “thanks so much; have a great day.” Well….
Anthony drove away as did we.
I’ll never see him again, but he left an indelible imprint on my mind. Yes, people have reached out to me in the past, and I have to them. But for some reason, this event seemed to truly resonate. It felt like I was being rewarded for something and maybe, in some way I was. But maybe not. Maybe this was an action that was to remind me about the kindness of others and maybe I was long overdue. For whatever reason, I was awed. He did not know my religion, my politics nor my mental wellbeing, but he offered a hand. A hand to help. Don’t we all need that–sometime?
Anthony inspired me and it is as simple as that. Now I want to inspire others in the same way.
Thanks, Anthony.
Posted on Friday, April 10th, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Fiction or Fact?
I say fiction. Recently, I heard that fewer and fewer people are cuddling up with a good novel than anytime in our recent past. Not good.We are reading more “how to” books. We are reading biographies of celebrities. We’re reading accounts of history and wars. Dieting books remain ever so popular. Take a look at the top books sold. Now, there’s nothing wrong with reading these kinds of books–don’t get me wrong. I just think that we need to include a fair dose of fiction in the mix. It could be short stories, poetry, novels or essays. It’s your choice.
Fiction stimulates our thinking and it soothes it all at once. It has a way to reignite our imagination; something that adults tend to tuck a way for more “serious” things. Oscar Wilde put it this way, “Life is too important to take so seriously.” He happened to write short stories, plays and a novel so maybe he was a tad biased.
Oral stories have been passed down for thousands of years as they hold our very truths. Those same truths that have stuck with humans long after most of the thousands of wars fought have been forgotten or last year’s diet has been proved faulty. Didn’t Jesus tell parables? How about grandpa and his stories. You know what I mean…what about the beautiful poem you heard in third grade or the one you made up in your head when you were alone; don’t worry, no one will ever know.
We learn from stories. We learn from them because we remember them. How did it make us feel? Why do we feel empathy for a particular character? Sometimes we think, “that could’ve been me.” Truths are relevant and are the most prized manifestation of our humanity. Truths are universal and they are of tremendous value– that’s why we call them “values” and they withstand physical, chemical or “mystical” change, so to speak. Truths are, what they are. We value love over hate, health over illness, knowing over ignorance, kindness over mean-spiritedness, and peace over war, just to mention a few.
What better way to ponder our values than through a good story. In the “lies” of fiction, I think we find the truth.
Posted on Saturday, March 21st, 2009 | No Comments »